Romantic breakups are a common and unavoidable occurrence in our everyday life. Breaking up with someone you love and hold dear is a very hurtful and challenging experience. The pain that comes with having to no longer see that person again is nearly unbearable, and it is normally accompanied by feelings of anger, emptiness, obsession, self-blame, worthlessness, guilt and betrayal.
The void that is created after the break up often leads some of us to resort to unhealthy behaviors such as excessive consumption of alcohol, having random sex with strangers, idealizing your ex, isolating yourself, snooping your ex’s social profiles, junk food bingeing, or even jumping straight into a new relationship. Well, this is not always the case, because there are people who seem to be able to easily crawl out of the messy situation despite the magnitude of the heartbreak.
We all would want to get over a breakup as fast as possible, but it is not always what I would refer to as a walk in the park because you are still grieving the loss of your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse. Most of us will attest to the fact that moving on from an ex and finding new love is almost always impossible due to the unrelenting heartache and the unceasing emotional attachment. But what can we do in order to be able to gradually deal with the breakup and begin the healing process? Well, below are some helpful tips on how to get over a breakup fast enough for you to move on with your life and to help you cope in the meantime.
Tips on How to Survive a Breakup
Seeking therapeutic help
It is important to discuss the breakup with a professional counsellor. Talking out issues with your therapist and trying to brainstorm together what could have gone wrong and discussing healthy ways of coping would be really helpful. The therapeutic relationship is also essential as it helps you rebuild your sense of self-worth, thus making it easier to move on. The counselling environment also creates room for catharsis, which helps in releasing the pain and grief.
Often, during and after a breakup we will talk about it with our nearest and dearest friends. Of course, our good friends are always there for us and are willing to listen and help out. However, if the breakup has been a long-drawn-out process, or it’s taking you a considerably long time to get over, even our best friends can get tired of hearing the story again and again. We really need our friends around at times like these, but try not to burden them too much with the story.
Having therapist to discuss your situation with will mean that you will have less need to overburden your friends with the story time and again if this is happening for you, which will mean you can spend more time with them having fun and taking your mind off things.
See also: The no contact rule to get your ex back
Avoid rebound relationships
A rebound relationship is one that comes up shortly after a previous one. A rebound relationship can never be the real deal for dealing with a broken heart because it is a relationship that is often created as a way of trying to mask feelings of distress, inadequacy, anger, hurt, and loneliness. It is important that you first deal with the lost relationship before moving on to a new partner in order to be able to give your all to the new relationship.
Getting emotional support by sharing with family and friends
Telling your story to your loved ones and those who care about you is a sure way of beginning the healing process. Not only does speaking out help to gradually ease your pain, but it also helps to ensure that you have the much-needed support to go through the breakup.
Avoid any communication with your Ex
It is normal to get tempted to text or call your ex-partner, but if you want to begin your journey to recovery, do not text, call or view your ex’s social media profiles.
Do not lock yourself away
Keep your social life active. Do not isolate yourself from what is going on around you. It is important for you to get out there and enjoy life as much as you can. This will help you to get over it more quickly and finally move on.
Avoid blaming yourself for what happened
For healing to take place quickly, you should refrain from taking the blame for the just-ended relationship. In order to recover, you need to be emotionally stable. Self-blame is likely to make you emotionally unstable as it is likely to trigger feelings of guilt, anger, sadness, and regrets.
Try to Forgive
I know you’re like, “Say what? Forgive?” I have used ‘try’ because forgiveness is one of the hardest decisions one is ever faced with after a breakup. This is because you are dealing with hurt feelings and an offended ego. For you to regain your inner peace, you must find the strength to forgive and let go of the wrongs done to you by your ex-lover as difficult as it may appear.
Forgiving allows you to gradually release the bitter feelings and pain. After all, no one wants to be around a bitter person, which is what you are when you fail to forgive and forget.
Try to trust again
Most people would be like, “Are you for real? Yes. Understandably, it isn’t easy to trust all over again after someone you loved and cared about so many ditches you with no regrets and explanation. I really understand what you could be going through, but believe you me, it is possible to learn how to trust again. Your driving force for trusting again should be, “Well, not all men or women are the same.”
Be true to yourself when analyzing why you broke up
When analyzing the reasons you broke up, try to be as open and honest as possible because it is by doing so that you will discover that it was not worth it hanging on to the relationship. This is because you are able to take things for what they were rather than trying to mask problems with excuses.