We have all heard a variation of Jerry Maguire's romantic, “you complete me” concept, whether it be finding “our other half” or establishing a Yang to our Yin. While this idea is great in theory, it’s important to understand that in order to find the perfect romantic match for ourselves, we must be complete as individuals FIRST.
Instead of idealizing the type of person who would complete us, it’s important to shift our mentality onto attracting people who will enhance our lives. One of my good friends told me that she will never call her significant other a boyfriend, fiancé, husband, etc. Instead, she feels strongly about being with someone who she deems as a “life enhancer.”
To attract a “life enhancer” we must first enhance our own lives to the greatest degree that we can. In order to attract the kind of person you want, whether it is in a romantic relationship or friendship you must first BE that person.
5 Rules To Attracting Your Perfect Life Partner
Rule #1: It is imperative that you take control of your mentality
When I was in 5th grade before every test or quiz I would take, my teacher made us put down our pencil, close our eyes, and out loud as a class repeat, “I can do it” three times. It felt awkward and embarrassing, but I realize all these years later that what she was teaching us was monumental: believe in yourself and SAY IT OUT LOUD.
There is absolute truth to the concept of “fake it until you make it”. Even if you do not believe something to be true, the more you think it, say it, write it, and express it, the more quickly you will become it.
When we focus on the positives, we feel good and we radiate confidence and positive energy, which in turn, attracts positive and confident people as well as positive circumstances. Conversely, when we feel negative, we emit bad vibes, which in turn, attract negative, self-conscious, needy, and arguably draining people as well as negative circumstances into our lives. The power of thought is much more intense than we give it credit for, which is why it is imperative that we become conscious of our thoughts and make sure we are framing them in the positive.
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Rule #2: Build yourself up
Referring back to the end of rule #1: “it is imperative that we become conscious of our thoughts and make sure we frame them in the positive.” A woman tends to be her own worst critic. We constantly note our “imperfections” – my butt is fat, my nose is crooked, my face is mediocre, my stomach isn’t flat enough, I wish I was more toned, I wish I was prettier, I wish my skin would clear up; and on and on it goes. Sound familiar? I’m sure you could think of so many more. The more that you THINK these thoughts and worse yet, SPEAK them into existence, the more likely these concepts will become the perception of not only yourself, but of others.
Even if you don’t feel pretty, sexy, in the best shape of your life, whatever it is, look yourself in the mirror right now and frame that thought into the positive! Instead of “I wish my stomach was flatter” tell yourself, “I love my stomach and all angles of it!” Instead of saying, “I wish I was prettier” tell yourself, “I am beautiful and unique”.
The more we speak positively and think positively of ourselves, the faster other people will see our inner and outer beauty as well as our confidence. Pay attention to how you’re speaking and when you catch yourself speaking negatively, stop and quickly change it into the positive!
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Rule #3: Move your body!
Put effort into looking good in order to feel good! There are countless studies that show the benefits of exercise. Not only does working out release endorphins (the feel-good hormones), but they also help us to shape our already beautiful bodies into even healthier versions of ourselves, all while building confidence! Even better news? You can have a similar impact on your physical and mental health while working out or dancing!
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Rule #4: Understand your spirituality
Your mental and physical health go hand in hand, but we often overlook our spirituality or religion. For the purpose of this rule, I’m going to refer to this concept as “spirituality” but you can replace that word with whatever is comfortable for you.
Our spirituality encompasses how we view the world, our beliefs and what grounds us, and how we operate toward ourselves and others. Our spirituality is the soul of who we are as individuals. If you haven’t delved into this area of your life, perhaps now is the time to pick up a book, listen to a podcast, or type a simple Google search and read related articles. It’s important to understand who you are on a spiritual level. When you can know this about yourself, you will, in turn, attract more people with similar minds into your world.
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Rule #5: Remember: Like attracts like
This concept dates back to an original concept of The Law of Attraction. If you’ve never heard of this theory, I recommend starting here through a Google search. Simply put, like attracts like means that we attract people who are like us into our lives. If you are attracting people who are negative in any capacity, it’s important to take a look at yourself to see how you are behaving. Here is where we must take ownership, surrender to humility, and accept that we truly do bring people into our lives who are a reflection of ourselves. If necessary, we must make changes appropriately.
Once you commit to these rules, you will be enhancing who you are, which will inevitably attract the perfect partner into your life.