Being rejected by someone we love is one of the most painful things we can experience. Many of us who have lost the “man of our dreams” find ourselves looking for a way, any way, to get him back again. The problem is, we often tend to take things in the wrong direction and instead of attracting them back into our lives, we drive a wedge between us that is difficult to remove.
That often isn’t the case, however, when you understand the no contact rule. If you are a woman who is interested in getting that special someone back into your life again after he called it quits, the no contact rule is imperative to use for any chance of success. In this article, we will go beyond a basic understanding of the rule itself and discuss some specifics on how to make it work for him and for you.
Understanding The No Contact Rule To Win Him Back
Why he’s important to you
First of all, it can be one of the most difficult things you will ever do in your life but if you want him back again, you need to start it now. Of course, it is natural to want your ex boyfriend back, but you must firstly make sure you are wanting him back for the right reasons. That is why one of the most important aspects of the no contact rule is not the amount of time or how far you stay away, it is the mindset with which you approach the task at hand.
If you want to see success and get your man back again, you need to be fully committed to the process and completely make your mind over from the very start. It is important to spend time by yourself and write down a list of reasons why you want him back. Not only this but also take the time to write down all the benefits you of having him in your like and likewise for him, list all the reasons why you are also an asset to his.
No contact rule theory
The theory behind the no contact rule is fairly easy to understand. To put it on a most basic level, you are to cut off communication with your ex-boyfriend (or husband) and stick to it for a specified amount of time. To make the no contact rule effective you need to be clear on the time-frame from the beginning.
Some claim that you only need to stay away for 30 days but most relationship experts agree that 60 days is the sweet spot. Mark your calendar and get started.
There are certain rules you must follow during the time you are using the no contact rule. First of all, you can’t call, text, email, leave notes for or hang out with your ex. You should also avoid looking at anything about them during that time, including old text messages or their social media pictures. No contact means “NO” contact in any way, shape or form.
See also: Texting tips for winning him back
It may seem harsh but the level of success experienced with this method is undeniable. If it is true that absence makes the heart grow fonder (and I believe that with every fiber of my being), then your absence is going to pull at his heartstrings at some point if he has any feelings left for you at all.
Inevitably, he will start to wonder how you are doing, what you are up to and who you are doing it with. Sometimes, curiosity can get the better of him and compel him to contact you. But you shouldn’t rely on this. He will also start to wonder if you’ve moved on and if he made the right decision in ending things. The more he wonders about you, the better chances there are for the two of you having a re-connection somewhere down the line. If he is regretting breaking up with you then this is definitely a good thing.
During the no contact period it can sometimes feel hard not to get in touch with him in some way. However, it is really important to resist the urge. Above all, you do not want to look desperate or needy as this really puts guys off. If you were needy in the relationship then here’s how to fix it.
Related article: Getting him back after moving on
What to do after the no contact period
When the time is up, you can re-initiate contact with a text message designed to appeal to his curiosity. The right text message can make it virtually impossible for him not to get back in touch with you. However, there is a very specific skill in doing this and the correct text messages must be sent at exactly the right times, or you may lose him forever. You can find out exactly what to say in your texts here.
Experts acknowledge the impact of texting on a relationship as it is now such a primary part of everyday communication for millions of people.
When you contact him with those first text messages in the correct way it can have a massive impact on him and his overall reaction to you. Find out more about getting him back quickly with text messages here.