a couple flirtingWhile some ladies are naturals when it comes to flirting with a guy without being too obvious, most of us will need a bit of practice to develop some confidence and start having fun with it.

If you’re not sure how to get started, then use the following ten strategies that will enhance your flirting skills, big time.


Top 10 Techniques To Flirt With A Guy Without Making It Obvious

Maintain Eye Contact

According to Psychology Today, maintaining eye contact is one of the subtlest and most effective ways to flirt with men.

Looking into his eyes while he’s talking, even if you’re not paying too much attention to the things he’s saying can be deeply alluring. The eye contact shows him that you don’t have interest in anybody else in the room except him. There’s no need to lick your lips, touch his hand or give him a forced laugh when he tries to be funny if you’re using this technique correctly. Look into his eyes, give him your attention and he’ll get it soon enough.

Maintaining eye contact may feel a bit uncomfortable in the very beginning, and you may feel tempted to look away. Don’t do it – sooner or later you’ll get used to giving a guy your undivided attention.

See also: 21 Ways To Tell If He Is Into You

Be Playful

A little bit of back and forth banter can also go a long way when you’re trying to flirt with a guy. Show him that you’re witty and that you’re fun to be with. Guys love women who can maintain the conversation and keep it fresh, challenging and fun!

A little bit of self-irony is always a good thing too. Laugh at yourself to show him that you don’t take yourself too seriously. Go with the flow, tease him and learn his sense of humor from the jokes he’s making. This way, you can find out a lot about what he is comfortable with.

Compliment Him

Everybody enjoys a bit of an ego boost now and then. Men tend to also have insecurities, especially when it comes to communicating with the opposite sex. A little bit of positive reinforcement can go a long way. It may also encourage him to get a bit more flirtatious with you in return.

Don’t over-do it, try to be subtle with your compliments, but he, of course, needs to ‘get it’. Quite often an implied compliment can work very well as you’re not directly complimenting him.

Touch Him Non-Flirtatiously

two people flirting on the beach

Physical contact is a great chemistry builder and can quickly heat up the flames of passion and desire. If you don’t know the guy too well, however, try to keep the physical contact non-sexual at the beginning.

When walking side by side, you can hold on to his arm while attempting to fix your shoe. Touch his ear gently when trying to tell him something in a noisy bar. Make these gentle touches appear accidental, so it will keep him guessing if you’re really into him or not. This will help to send sparks without giving away your intentions right from the start.

Be Interested

Be involved in every single conversation you have with him and show your interest. Showing interest in the things that he’s passionate about can be incredibly sexy.

When a woman shows interest in what a guy is talking about it shows him that she is not self-centered and cares enough about him to listen to what he has to say.

You May Also Like: How To Make Yourself More Attractive To Guys

Use Your Scent to Entice Him

Your perfume can send a massive signal his way. This is why you should always consider using some type of body scent when on a date and when meeting new people.

“Accidental” physical contact can transfer your scent to his shirt or skin. The faint trace of the fragrance will remind him of you long after the date has ended.

However, be sure not to over-do the perfume. If it is too strong, then it may have the opposite effect.

Use Social Media

You don’t have to flirt in person in order to get yourself noticed. Once you’ve established contact, you can use social media to tease him a little bit and continue the playful banter that you enjoyed in person.

Communicating with him through Facebook, or any other social platform that you use is less intimate that texting and can help you to have some good flirtatious banter with him while you’re apart.

One thing to remember is not to overdo it. Don’t contact him 24/7 and don’t go liking his Facebook photos that were uploaded five years ago or he’ll know you’ve been going through his profile, which can look a bit stalker’ish. A social media flirt can quickly transform into something creepy if he starts feeling like you’re stalking him.

See also: 15 flirtatious questions to ask him

Make it a Challenge for Him

new romance flirtingIf he seems interested, you can make things hotter by giving him a hard time in a fun way. Stop flirting and make him work for your attention a little. Guys love a challenge, and they’re hard-wired to pursue a woman. Sometimes, it would be best to refrain from working too hard on flirting and letting him take the lead for a little while.

Again, don’t overdo this technique or it may look like you’re either flaky, or you’re trying to manipulate him. Both are to be avoided.

Always Dress the Part

You don’t need a revealing outfit in order to look stunning. However, attention to detail and picking nice clothes can help go a long way.

Choose something that’s flattering, and that makes you feel comfortable. It’s a bad idea to wear a brand new outfit on a first date or when you’re going to meet new people.

Men are visual creatures, which can definitely work to your advantage. While a mini-dress is too obvious, a dress that accentuates your curves can be incredibly sexy while still leaving a lot to the imagination.

Read More: How You Can Tell If A Shy Guy Likes You

Work on Building Your Confidence

Finally, work on your self-confidence. Men love women who don’t have a load of insecurities and who are well-grounded and comfortable with themselves. If you know that you’re a strong lady that deserves love and attention, the chances are that men will notice you for it.

Using positive affirmations, recognizing your accomplishments and working towards improving your personal or professional skills even further can help you acquire the confidence needed to make flirting and your love life a success.

Remember that flirting should be fun rather than a daunting task. You may want to practice your skills socially before meeting the one guy you’re particularly interested in. The more you practice beforehand, the more at ease you’ll feel when the big moment arrives.


There are many different techniques that you can use to improve your flirting ability. However, one of the most important aspects is having confidence when you are flirting as this will help you to come across much more sexy and attractive. Good use of eye contact and playful touch are also two key ingredients to flirting effectively and can really stir a man’s desire for you. You may also want to see our article on using text messages to flirt with a guy here.